When I was in my teens, I loved to walk alone. It didn’t matter where I walked, but My favorite places were along quiet roads, in the woods, or along the railroad tracks.
I recall many instances of getting onto the tracks near my grandparents house in Tonawanda NY and walking as far as I wanted either southwest towards Buffalo or north towards Wheatfield. My favorite times for these walks was in the dead of winter: Gray skies, snow covered ground, a slight wind blowing the cold air into my face.
I loved the solitude of those walks when all that I could hear was the song of the Chickadees, Tufted Titmouse, and other winter-tough song birds along with the crunch of the snow with each step I took. I cannot recall all that went through my mind in those days. What I do recall is a certain fearlessness. It never crossed my mind that it might be dangerous to walk alone in those places, to be frank, it rarely crosses my mind today when I take an opportunity presented by my location at the time, to go for a walk.
It may seem silly to the reader but my favorite walks were (and still are) taken on very cold days when I had to bundle up to stay warm. The reason for this may be stated by one word – home. Whether my walk began at my childhood home in Getzville, my grandparents house in Tonawanda, or my home today it always ended at a place where I was welcomed and loved, where it was warm and safe, and where I felt secure and at peace.
In a way, my whole life has been one great journey from home and to home. My life began as all life does, God brought me into this world by way of my parents. And while I didn’t really know it during those days, I was never really alone as I walked – never really alone; I would not be here today otherwise. While in those days my roaming may have been aimless wanderings, today I HAVE a destination: home. Not to Altair drive but nevertheless, a place where I am welcome and loved, a place of comfort and safety and a place of perfect peace and rest beside my Savior.
One day my journey will end and what a day that will be! I extend my hand to you….do you want join me? Care to go for a walk? By faith in Him, His home, my home can be your home too.
Summertime in South Texas is notoriously hot and humid, to compensate, residents of the region gravitate to anything cold and wet: a favorite watering hole, beach or ice cold beverage always hit the spot.
In my younger days, my go to used to be ice cold beer, wine-coolers and other alcoholic beverages. But it was so hot that (in my effort to stay cool) I would routinely drink too much too fast and end up drunk. Overtime (though I did not perceive myself as an alcoholic) I came under conviction about drinking alcohol at all. One Sunday, a day after the 4th of July, upon hearing the pastor preach about drunkenness, I came home and dumped it all: wine-coolers, beer, tequila, rum…..everything and to this day some 30 years later, never picked alcohol up again.
The pastor drilled down on this text:
“And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit…” (Eph. 5:18)
Of course he also shared from Proverbs 20:1, 23:31; Romans 13:13 and 1 Cor. 5:11 but I have a purpose in sharing the focal passage above along with a portion of my testimony. There is a lesson to be learned in this verse concerning spiritual life and it revolves around the words “drunk” and “filled.”
My testimony identifies a commonality for us concerning drunkenness and it boils down to this: We pour alcohol down our throats and it’s effects begin to take hold, slowly changing us, loosening us up and ultimately, for a time taking control of us. The result is termed”dissipation” by Paul: That is, excessive or “riotous” behavior. The Apostle exhorts (literally commands), don’t live this way, suggesting that he was speaking of a lifestyle of drunkenness. Then, right on the heals of the prohibition he connects the dots saying, “But be filled with the Spirit.” In other words, become so immersed in the Spirit of God that His presence and power within you control your attitudes, actions, thoughts and words. Consider the disciples on the day of Pentecost for instance: the Spirit of God fell on and filled them to such a degree that the people thought they were drunk; a supposition which led to an opportunity for Peter to explain what had happened to them in (Acts 2:13-21) and to go on and preach to them the gospel as well.
A person can become spiritually intoxicated in much the same way as they get drunk; only rather than wine it’s the word of God that such a person consumes. Jesus said in (Matt. 5:6) “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.” Just as I chased cold drink to quench my thirst and refresh my body on a hot day one’s thirst for spiritual refreshment will lead them to immerse themselves in the Word of the Lord and avail themselves to the Spirit of God to such a degree that they become spiritually inebriated. In the best case, every word such a person would say, every action they take and attitude they express then would be informed by the word of God and His Spirit – they would be “holy, as I am holy.” (1 Peter 1:16; Lev. 20:7)
I write this because I don’t know too many Christians if any who are as I described above and also because it’s not for lack of instruction that we are not. Just as drunkenness is a choice so too is holy intoxication, both the wine and the word are available to us for consumption, it is up to us to choose wisely and be filled with that which can make us more like Jesus.
God is faithful, but this isn’t a story about His faithfulness. You see faithfulness involves a promise but God did NOT promise me as a believer in Jesus Christ that my days would be pain or trouble free; in fact, because I believe in Him, I can expect my days to be more challenging because His enemy is now mine as well. This story is a testimony instead to the mercy and grace of God and involves the events which unfolded one Saturday morning.
Two o’clock in the morning can’t come soon enough when you’re nearing the end of another night shift and in the wee hours of the morning my thoughts had already turned to the afternoon of fishing that I had planned with my wife for later that day. I should tell you that I also drive an eighteen wheeler for a living and was making final preparations to drive the short 144 miles home and begin the weekend. After hooking up my two trailers and completing my pretrip safety inspection I departed for what I assumed would be another routine trip into the south Texas countryside.
Thirty five miles south of my location someone else was getting ready to go home as well – too much to drink, not enough rest, more problems than power in his life. He headed out from wherever he had been and entered a 4 lane toll road going the wrong way. It was ten miles travelling northbound in southbound lanes on a road limited to 85mph before he met anyone else on that road. He could have hit a carload of kids, a family headed on a vacation trip, a bus or any number of big trucks but he didn’t, at least not until he met me.
At night, headlights breaking from a right curve all look like they belong to vehicles on your side of the road and eventually it becomes clear that they are actually where they belong, so when I saw the headlights of this mans pickup truck rounding the curve ahead of me I thought nothing of it for a few seconds and then I realized he was in my lane. Closing the distance rapidly between us, the driver left me only two choices: veer to the right and meet him driver side to driver side or attempt to escape by heading to the left lane and hoping the man would realize that he was on the wrong side of the road and stay where he was until he passed me…but he didn’t. He followed me across the center stripe and collided with the right front side of my truck, knocking my steering axle under the cab and folding the wheels underneath. The collision ruptured my fuel tank, dislodged my single rear axle and turned the single axle on my first trailer side ways ending with me jackknifed half on and half off off the fast lane of the road and the opposing driver coming to rest in the ditch, trapped in his pickup. Within a minute, two more vehicles passed through the debris field and kept going and then, climbing out of my driver side window, I got out of my truck.
Upon arriving, first responders attention was on the driver in the pick up and using hydraulics they were able to pry the door open and get the man out. The man stepped out of his truck and walked with firefighters to a pumper truck 30 yards away and after a few minutes left the scene talking with EMS first responders.
I share this story with you not for the dramatics but to give God glory for His mercy and grace, you see it’s not every day that people walk away from a head-on wreck. God was with that man as he drove the wrong way, protecting him and others from a terrible outcome. Had we met, driver side to driver side there is no doubt that he would have been killed. Had we met on that side his still occupied pickup would have remained in the road and the two vehicles passing through the debris field would have struck his vehicle leading to what would have become a chain reaction wreck.
Finally, a number of people from my company have reviewed the video commenting that my ability to correct my jackknifing truck and trailers kept them from laying over. They say that it is apparent that I was steering to avoid the layover which I no doubt was doing. But what they forget and what I didn’t know was that my steering wheel linkage was no longer connected after impact and that my front axle was dislodged….I didn’t do anything!!! It was God’s hands that kept my equipment up right!!! His hands that shielded the wrong way driver at impact and His hands that kept me from suffering even the slightest ache, pain, bump or bruise in this wreck!!!
God IS merciful! He has a plan for your life, for the drunk driver’s life and for my life! God is also persistent, sometimes going to great lengths to get our attention and to turn us in the right direction. Have you believed in His Son whom God sent to redeem your soul and give you a forever place with Him in Heaven? My hope is that your “come to Jesus” moment isn’t this drastic and severe but that you hear the words which declare that “God so loved the world,” including you, “that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever (you) believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” If you have not yet believed, having heard the word, how far will God have to go to get your attention?
I have since returned to my night run into Austin, returning to work the next business day and praising Him who is merciful; acknowledging out loud what I KNOW in my heart to be true: it has been by His grace that I have come thus far and in that same grace that I will continue to go.
People consult me every day; sometimes many times a day – I always tell them the truth. What am I?
A look into the mirror may lead you to think about your younger days – good or bad; it may also lead to wonder about who you are becoming but it only reveals to your eyes who you really are today.
A mirror may take the form of reflective glass in a bathroom or hall, or a photograph or a glimpse into a placid pool of water but God has provided us a different kind of mirror, one which when honestly observed reveals more than meets the eyes in those other types – it is a mirror to your soul. That is what James, the half-brother of our Lord considered the word of God to be:
“For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was.” (James 1:23–24)
I too have always considered the word of God to be a mirror which reveals not the outward appearance of a person but rather the inward appearance of that person and not as they wish they appeared but as they do actually appear. The problem, as James saw it, was that after people have seen themselves in God’s mirror – if they are a hearer of the word and not a doer – they just walk away and disregard what had been revealed to them. Naturally speaking, have you ever done that? As a man I have disregarded my reflection in the bathroom mirror and forgotten to shave but I dare say that a scant few women have EVER looked into the mirror after having just woken up and done nothing to alter the appearance they first saw with their waking eyes. But spiritually speaking, how often have we gazed into God’s mirror and been struck with the fact that something is spiritually out of place with us and done nothing about it?
In (Romans 7:7) Paul declared that he “would not have know sin except through the Law.” The Law of which he spoke was the law of Moses and the Levitical law given to men by God; the words of those laws revealed certain expectations of God; but Paul says that the law also revealed sin to him. The law brought his personal rebellion against God to Paul’s attention – it revealed something of his own heart to Paul.
When the Pharisees and Scribes came to the Jordan to see or else to be baptized by John the Baptist, he said to them:
“Brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the wrath to come?” (Matthew 3:7)
These people did not see themselves as God did and were under wrath as is every person today who either has not looked into God’s mirror at all or has looked into it and disregarded what they saw.
When I first believed, it was from a place of conviction that I came. I knew that God had expectations of those He created and I knew that I had not lived up to them – I did not yet know that living up to God’s expectation was impossible apart from a relationship with Him through Jesus Christ and the residency of His Holy Spirit within me; I learned that the day I was born again and continue to learn it today.
I say this to you today because I believe that two things are necessary or required for the salvation of a soul. First, a warning from God which produces godly sorrow and second, belief or faith in Him whom God has provided to deal with our sins as a ransom and a refuge for our souls. That warning from God will come by God’s Spirit (John 16:8–11):
“And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment: of sin, because they do not believe in Me; of righteousness, because I go to My Father and you see Me no more; of judgment, because the ruler of this world is judged.”
and through God’s word (Acts 2:36-37):
“Therefore let all the house of Israel know assuredly that God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Christ.” Now when they heard this, they were cut to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, “Men and brethren, what shall we do?””
“Then Peter said to them, “Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” (Acts 2:38)
Truly, I think it is as Oswald Chambers wrote in his book “Our Ultimate Refuge”: “Until a person is hit with sorrow, the last thing they seek God to be is their refuge.” A refuge isn’t a place a person seeks when all is well with them; refuge is sought from danger: from storms, from rain and from terror. But as soon as a person sees him or herself as God does – as a sinner and a rebel possessing no way of justifying or saving themselves, that person won’t glibly walk to Jesus – they will run to Him and by faith in Him they will be born again (John 3:3)
It starts with an honest look in the mirror and frankly, spiritual life is driven in part by returning to the mirror of God daily.
A brother in Christ asked me recently whether I counted my past life as Paul considered his to have been in (Philippians 3:7-8) – as “loss,” “dung” (KJV), or “rubbish” (NKJV). I said to him, “yes and no,” because I believe that Paul was referring to things like his reputation, education, status among men, and even his passion or “zeal” for God prior to knowing the Lord Jesus Christ – his “confidence in his flesh” (v.3-4) when he said it; I don’t think Paul meant things like the way God was getting his attention in those days. I don’t think that Paul meant “the goads” of the Lord (Acts 9:5) including the devotion of the followers of Christ, whom Paul persecuted, as they faced death or imprisonment for faith in Jesus as Stephen did in (Acts 6:8-7:60).
Why did I say yes and no? Because although my past life was in many ways, a deplorable moral train wreck; along the way, God used some of the things from my past to get my attention.
You see, for most of my life, I have been aware of God because of those things.
As a young teenager I would sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” in front of my house in the morning, while I was waiting for the bus or a ride to school – because somewhere I learned that Jesus was a Lion. I wouldn’t have called it worship because I didn’t know what that was but I was singing it to Him.
Silly, I know.
I wasn’t really ‘raised’ in church but I went to CCD as a kid – I was a kind of black sheep to the nuns who taught there, but I learned some things about Jesus there too.
Then I heard the rock opera, “Jesus Christ Superstar,” I didn’t know that it was meant to mock Jesus rather than exalt Him so, year after year as 97 Rock in Buffalo NY played the entire work on Easter Sunday, I would listen and sing the songs as an act of remembrance and one day I watched the movie by the same title. On that day, as I watched, Jesus was nailed to a cross while many stood near Him, mocking and laughing and His disciples boarded a bus leaving Him alone to die on the cross – I wept…I cried hard. I asked my mom, “Why did He die like that?” and “Why did, how could His friends leave Him there to die?” Questions that would be answered several years later, on the day I gave my life to Him who gave His for me.
Just because I was aware of God didn’t mean that I knew Him or had accurate knowledge about Him either; the fact was that I really knew very little about Him. For instance, as I grew older and my sins increased, I came to view God as a “three strikes and you’re out” kind of God. Maybe it was because what little exposure I did have to what He is like came from people who taught that you could earn your way into Heaven by doing good. On Easter Sunday morning 1988, I entered into church with the overwhelming conviction that I had sinned one too many times and after hearing a message that involved a gospel presentation when I finally learned the answer to WHY Jesus died like He did, in tears I came forward to ask Him to save my soul.
Did I come to understand Him fully in that hour? No. Did I turn from all of my sins in that hour? No.
I began a new life in Christ, in that hour. I began a journey of transformation, in that hour.
Have I had doubts about God since then? No.
Have I ever had doubts about myself and my relationship to God since then? …Yes, occasionally and especially when I forget that the only works which count for eternal life are the works that Jesus Christ did to save me.
I’m still on that journey today and I have learned a few things about myself and about God during the 32 years since my first encounter with Him on the road I had been traveling. It is from those lessons that I write in order to help those on the road to keep headed in the right direction and also in order to introduce others to the Son of God who died and rose for them like He did for me.
Over the years, the Lord has used tragedy, danger and answered prayer to draw me nearer to Him in faith but the one thing that He has consistently used to humble, refine and draw me nearer to Himself is the mirror He left for us which is His holy word.
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